I'm Jordan, and I'm just your average 23 year old nerd and I post shit I like here.
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skarchomp:

skarchomp:

i feel like none of us really talk enough about the fact that the evolution to porygon is literally actually honest to god named “porygon2″ porygon the movie 2000

pokemon scientists revealing their newest discovery in the porygon evolutionary line

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slimetony:

slimetony:

I’m looking forward to walking around in the rubble tomorrow after they nuke the horny posts

50,000 furries used to live here. Now its a ghost town.

(Source: slimetony)

coolxatu:

reallyreallyreallytrying:

mystic-bullshitt:

reallyreallyreallytrying:

people say dolphins are smart but there not smart enough to not be Shity grey rubber tubes flappin about in the gotdamn ocean

*they’re

congratulations! you are the piss lord of shit mountain. thank u for hefting turds down the mountainside so that we, the proles, may feast on your bounteous craps

can we talk about how this is the single greatest sentence ever said on this website? this post changed us as a community. not a day goes by i dont think about it

therunnersam:

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GETCHA TITTAAAYY…TITTAY HERE! LAST WEEKEND FOR TITTAAAAYYY! TWO TITTIES FOR ONE! ALL TITTAYS MUST GO BY MONDAY! GET-CHA TIT-TAYTYYYY!

Played 214,089 times

diarrheaworldstarhiphop:

batmansymbol:

batmansymbol:

welp

here it is

the final damning evidence that i have no life whatsoever

lyrics at the original post here

so uh, by popular request, mp3 now downloadable here. second from the bottom

Are fu fuckfin h. Gkkiding me

Violet Beauregarde should‘ve won Wonka’s chocolate factory

evayna:

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Have I watched the movie in the last decade or more? No.
Do I have iron clad evidence to support my argument? Yes.

1. She’s the most knowledgeable about candy. She’s committed to it, and knows her stuff. When Wonka holds up a little yellow piece across the room, she recognizes it immediately. She was able to switch to candy bars for the sake of the contest, so we know she has personal discipline and is goal oriented. Also, two major projects play directly into her strong suits: the 3-course-meal gum that Wonka failed to make safe (gum) and the neverending gobstopper (longevity).

2. She’s the most fit to run a business. Violet is competitive, determined, hard working, and willing to take risks. Her father is a small town car salesman and politician, so she could easily pick up knowledge and support from him. (Veruca’s dad is also a business man, and in a compatible market (nuts), but it’s made very clear that Veruca has no respect or knowledge of business practices or hard work.)

3. She’s the most sympathetic to the Oompa Loompas. She critiques Veruca when Veruca demands to buy one. More importantly, Wonka has been testing the 3-course-meal gum that ‘always goes wrong’ on Oompa Loompas while he presumably just watches. Violet is ready to put herself on the front line, instead of treating the Oompa Loompas as disposable, and would therefore be a better boss.

4. Her personality ‘flaw’ is the most fitting for the company. In the moralizing Oompa Loompa song, they just say ‘gum is pretty cool, but it’s not socially acceptable to chew it all day‘. The thing is, we already know that she can stop if she wants, because she already did that to win the golden ticket. And yeah, she is defensive about the perceived impoliteness of her hobby (like when her mother tries to shame her about her habit during a televised interview) but the obsession with candy and neglect of social norms is EXACTLY what Wonka is all about. This is on brand.

5. Her misstep in the factory is reasonable. Wonka shows everyone a candy he’s very proud of. Violet is like “oh sick, that’s gum, my special interest.” Wonka is then pulls a “WRONG! It’s amazing gum!” So in the very moments before she takes the gum Wonka has mislead her just to belittle her. So when he’s like “I wouldn’t do that” why should she give a shit what he has to say? She’s not like Charlie over here who’s all “Sure Gramps, let’s stay behind while the tour leaves and secretly drink this thing that has been explicitly stated to fill you with gas and is too powerful for safe consumption, oh and also I just saw what happened to Violet so I actually KNOW what this stuff can be capable of” Also, Violet is not selfish about her experience, she tells everyone what she’s tasting and feeling, and everyone is eager to hear it. Taking a personal risk to share knowledge with everyone. Violet is Prometheus: fact.

So Augustus contaminates the chocolate river. Charlie sneaks around and contaminates the vent walls. Veruca destroys and disrupts the workspace. Mike knows exactly what will happen to him and transports/shrinks himself deliberately. Violet had no idea what the gum could potentially do to her, and caused no harm to anyone or anything but herself.

Lastly: Can you imagine Charlie filling Wonka’s shoes? That passive, naive boy? Violet is already basically Wonka. She’s passionate, sarcastic, candy-obsessed, free thinking, and a total firecracker. She’s even better than Wonka, because she doesn’t endanger others.

Violet should’ve been picked to inherit the chocolate factory.

ishimustard:

whoever keeps putting the cheshire cat on disney villains merchandise….. damn you. damn you, to hell. i hate you. he is NOT a villain. heis fucking. just a weird little stupid creature. fuck you. FROLLO deserves that spot. FROLLO . this is a warning. re evaluate. or die. this post was made by Catholic gang